Call Me Out 2017

[yamadori]

【the ❝CALL ME OUT❞ meme】
a roleplay meme to inspire muses.

♛ i'm trying to focus on these characters in particular, but i will pull out one of these if you ask for them! ♛ call the characters out by putting their names in your subject line! i can also post starters if you need them ♛ gen, shipping, crosscanon and crau are all fine - but please, no smut. ♛ if you need some prompts, i will be working on a list to post to the comm and putting a link here soon! meme code.

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[zanka]

[Something in him nearly reacts, and sharply. Dirk doesn't know anything about him. Has no idea just how worthless he is, how sickened he should be simply by his proximity to Komaeda alone. But he doesn't let it show on his face, and it's for the very same reason that Komaeda lets it go. Because Dirk doesn't know, has no way to. They've only just met, after all.

Perhaps if they spend enough time together, he'll come to understand.

But there's one thing he has to leave Dirk with, at least. Disappointing, that he can't keep himself quiet about certain things after all, but nothing to be done about it.]

Trash is trash, no matter how pretty of a bow you put on it. [The smile he shoots him is gentle, however. A juxtaposition to the harsh words he directs at himself.] Even if someone can find worth in it, that won't change. Though I appreciate that small kindness you speak of me with.

[Even as he says it, though... There's a difference in his tone that should not be there. Komaeda frowns slightly at the realization. A sliver of doubt wedged between the harsh words and his heart, driven there by Dirk and the things he's told and shown Komaeda. And the hope of seeing Hinata, changed and alive. Because the game chose him, summoned him, and it does many things - but it does not make mistakes.

Something he had ignored during his time trying to survive, until this moment. Until it's thrust into his face this way, and he can't look away.

Sburb chooses all of its children, and all of them will have a part to play, no matter how big or small.]

But I suppose... [His words are thoughtful, slow, as he lifts a hand up in the air. Stares at the light threading through the spaces between his fingers.] ...If I'm here, even able to have this conversation with you right now... If I was blessed with being able to view such a wondrous sight earlier... Finding my way is something that even someone like me can manage.

[His hand drops, and Komaeda moves to sit himself at the edge of the stone bed.]

I could have done this before, yes. But what reason is there to do so if it wouldn't help anyone in the end? That's what you gave me a chance to see. Even if it's difficult for me to imagine, you've shown me enough that I believe I can do something to help our session survive.

And if finding myself is the means to that end, to keeping everyone alive... I will not fail. [Then, a soft huff of laughter.] I hope my real self can live a life that is worthwhile... or at least worth more than what mine has been up until now.

[timaeus_testified]

You idiot. [There's no heat to the words as Dirk stops before the yellow and gold stone slab. His knuckles are white around the sword hilt. Why is it the smart ones are always so destructive? Is it a sign? He doesn't fucking know. He's seeing too much in the way Komaeda talks. He wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him while talking low about how worth is not about the things he had once believed and Komaeda still does. Raw words that would sear their way in and remind him of every miserable failure he has ever had. Everything he has ever done laid bare, to be judged and sentenced.]

The real you just has his shit semi-together not an entirely different person.

[Kindness? No, he's a cruel bastard that can't even be honest most of times and talks in riddles. Never revealing his real feelings on a damn thing. It's all like one big joke. His hand lands on Komaeda's shoulder and digs in,]

Maybe. Make sure to keep yourself alive too. Despite how it seems...you do matter. More than your damn well know. Now stop haunting me with the past.

[Whatever that means he moves, too fast, too sure. The blade slides easily in, and out the back. Dirk's hand tangles in white hair. Somehow in the span of time he's knelt down far enough Komaeda's face can rest against his shoulder.]

You and I. We're a bit too much alike. Same self destructive stupidity.

[The sword is removed and he lays him down, brushing his hair out of his face.] Try not to fuck up with your guy okay? Hard. I know. But...well you're dying right now and I'm being the don't do this dumb shit guru.

[zanka]

[He laughs a little sheepishly.] Aha, I suppose that's true...

[But Komaeda trails off from whatever else he'd planned to say, smile slipping away as his mouth hangs open. That feeling from before comes back. "You do matter." It had taken his whole life for three people to say that to him, and the young man he's met in a single day has said as much more than once. There's an ache that thuds in his chest with his heartbeat.

He's going to say something else, he thinks. Perhaps try to deny that he does, in fact, matter, even though it would taste like a lie in his mouth with the feeling still resounding in his chest. Maybe ask how he could possibly be haunting him, when Komaeda isn't even sure what it is that he's done that's so familiar.

Whatever it is he's going to say is ripped away from him, because even though he'd told himself over and over that he would be prepared, Komaeda is crying out in pain as the sword tears through him.

He shouldn't get to react to pain; he should be able to handle it, to bear it and endure without a sound. But it hurts, and he's human, and it seems even that is too much for him to manage.

It's... strange. Between the life fading from him and the pain, it's difficult to focus, but... There's another feeling in his chest, as he registers the sensation of Dirk's fingers in his hair. It's not unlike what he'd already experienced, but this is... different. More intense, and more present, and his eyes burn and sting as if he's about to cry. If anyone ever touched him that way before, it's been too long for him to remember.

Komaeda coughs as he's set down, and tries not to think about what he feels in his throat. There's a finality to this, something more tangible and solid than being told he has six months left to live. An inexplicably sad feeling wells up in him as his eyes follow the movement of Dirk's hand.

Is that what you meant, he thinks, when you told me to stop haunting you?

Komaeda had thought he didn't know anything about him. But it seems he was terribly wrong, after all.

Vision gets blurrier, breathing gets harder. Thinking steadily becomes more difficult, but the words "your guy" still bounce about insistently in Komaeda's head. Your. My. Mine. Hinata isn't "his" - for so many reasons, he isn't his. Because he was beneath him, and now he's above. Because no one would ever be with a person who always said cruel things about them. Because Komaeda is a terrible person who shouldn't want him, but still does anyway.

He speaks, but that's not what he says.]

's too late. I already did. [His voice is little more than a choked, rattling thing that leaves his lips. Talking hurts, and not just in the physical way.] Won't want me. Shouldn't want me.

[He blinks, and he finally feels the wetness on his lashes.]

But... I'll try not to die.

[That isn't what he meant to say. It's what he wanted to say. He's only been saying the things he wants since he got stabbed, and he shouldn't...

Komaeda doesn't get the things he wants. Everything he wants is torn away from him and broken in front of his face. He'd thought he had mastered not wanting anything at all.

Yet now, as he's dying so he can live again...]

You... [His eyes search the face above him. His breaths are very slow and weak, now. He has a moment more, at the very most.] You never told me your name.

[timaeus_testified]

Dirk Strider. [He continues to kneel while brushing his fingers through Komaeda's hair. He doesn't entirely get why he's doing it. It just seems to fit the situation. From the look on Komaeda's face, he has never had anyone truly give a damn about him. Even in the far flung future where everything was under water he always had Foxy.

How would he have turned out? Evil. If Dave has the right of how his Bro came to be. He won't say Komaeda is evil. Just destructive. A danger to himself and others as long as his purpose is flying in the wind without anyone there to tell him what is fucked up about his path.

He shifts, moving to sit on the edge of the slab.]

Guess that makes two of us in the fuck up category. It's alright. There's always say sorry, and try to mend the fences. Can always say sorry. At least...until you do too much.

Just don't be a coward and own the fuck up to what you did at the start.

[zanka]

[Saying sorry... He wonders if it's really that simple. If Hinata would even accept an apology from him after the things he's said about him.

But... Perhaps his brain that works too hard is simply over-complicating things once again. It wouldn't be the first time, and it wouldn't be the last...

Maybe he has a chance after all. That's a pretty hopeful thought.

Komaeda doesn't spend his words on it, though, because he only has a few left to spare. So he nods, smiles, and it's probably the most genuine look to grace his face since all of this started.]

Dirk Strider... [No honorific. He isn't quite sure why, but it doesn't feel necessary. Not right now.] What an interesting person you are.

[It goes unnoticed by Komaeda with the state that he's in, but pale-colored songbirds are starting to gather near the Bed. They land at the ledge, heads perked up like they're watching and waiting for something to happen.]

To the man who saved me, and helped me save myself... Thank you.

[His eyes fall shut, hands go slack. The red stain on his dress shirt, small at first, has grown to a considerable size. And as if that's what the flock has been waiting for, the birds fly to the sides of his body and, ever so faintly, they begin to glow.

Then there is a flash of light, rainbow color covering him like a second skin, his body is lifting up past Dirk's grasp and-

And Somewhere Else, Komaeda Nagito opens his eyes.]